Do you ever just go so frustrated your head wants to explode? I have been feeling that way for awhile now and it seems even the little things have begun to bother me. I don't know if I have shared this with the blog world, but I am a recovering alcoholic. I was at a meeting last night and someone mentioned serenity. Shit I have been looking for serenity for a long time. I cannot seem to find it. I can't find it at my job, I can't find it at home, I don't find it with my friends or family....where do you find this serenity...I need it!!!!
I am overwhelmed with some of the things going on in my life, but each day comes and each day goes and I roll with the punches. But have you ever wanted to stop the punches and just do something crazy to take your mind off life? I do, but I don't have a damn clue what the crazy thing is I need to do. I feel trapped and I am so thankful I go to these AA meetings (I go at least 3 times a week), and the great thing is, I can bitch about my problems and they sit there and they listen to me. They don't try to advise me, they don't tell me I am nuts for thinking this way, they say thanks for sharing and keep coming back. Could that be my serenity?
I don't know. I know I have to find the serenity within myself, and right now I am not happy. I have a weight issue that I am getting ready to face head on, and I have my sobriety (two years in May). I am very thankful and grateful that I have my health (sort of) and I have a roof over my head, I have family and friends that love me, and a wonderful husband who is trying to make life right (he's come a long way), but in all that where is the serenity? How do I find that peace within myself?
Thanks for reading, and hope I didn't scare anyone away!
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7 comments:
you said it all in the last paragraph. Your serenity is what you find inside of yourself but you have to take yourself to a quiet place and pray and pray. We ask for things and want results right away. God says ask and you shall receive, but we have to be open to this and let Him in. Listen to your heart ask God to help you get rid of all that is hurtful in your life and give you the peace you are seeking, you will find your comfort in His presence. If you can go to church when no one else is there and sit in front of the tabernacle close your eyes and just sit in silence, be where He is and he will come in.
I forgot to mention that part. I do have church, but a lot of times in church my mind wanders on the bills, or whatever my whoa's are for that day. I cannot find a focal point. I feel like I am being so selfish, but I am constantly thinking about me! I pray a lot, and even my prayers are about giving me things like to bring me peace or get through this or that. Again it always is about me and that is not a good thing either. That is why I need to find some place for serenity, so I can find focus. Really hard to do!
You're right....the serenity is inside YOU...you just have to be still and let it show itself.
My mind wanders all the time too, and the hardest thing for me is to turn things over to the Lord and then leave them there. For some reason, I seem to think I can do a better job of it.....how silly and stupid that is, huh?
Congrats on 2 years of sobriety.....that is a gret accomplishment and I admire you for sticking to it! Way to go, Tracy!!!!!!
Congratulations on your sobriety!!!
My husband and I quit drinking 5 months ago. We love our new life....some days are tougher than others. We don't go to AA meetings we did go to a couple but it seems to be working just fine. We have found so many other things to do with our lives than drink. We have wonderful children that we enjoy....property that we are busy clearing and developing....there have certainly been down sides to drinking nd we are still working at fixing those...have faith my friend...one day at a time....you will find what is your serenity....have patience is will come....
Happy Tuesday!
Congrats on your sobriety Tracy! I hope you find your happy place soon!
Quoting a wise woman who left this lovely comment on my blog:
"Enjoy yourself and take a load off!"
Yep, that was you. That was a horrible horrible day for me and it was nice to read that.
Some days I think we're too hard on ourselves and we just need to stop what we're doing and enjoy ourselves. It does feel like we're just going throught the motions some days but not every day.
Even for just a moment, enjoy you for you, even the extra baggage (which I have too)and I hope you'll find a little serenity.
You guys are so awsome! Thank you for the wonderful and kind words. It is hard to find your place in your own life sometimes, and I do forget to take time for me to relax and enjoy the wonderful things I do have in my life!
Love you all, thank you! :*)
Smalltown, I want to say congratulations to you and your hubby for your sobriety!! It is not an easy road, but it does get easier with time....One day at a time! Good luck to you guys on staying on that tough path! I am proud of you!!
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